Help?

Friends, fans and blog creepers...

I have a confession... I can't budget. I mean I guess I CAN, but I really don't know how. I am actually blogging right now to ask for your help. Admitting to you all that I have a problem is the first step... so I'll explain a little...

We'll start off with my morning... which was a success...

1. I went to Starbucks to meet A... I resisted a skinny latte and went for a grande cup of coffee instead... WELL... since I had done so well and only spent $2 on a cup of coffee, I decided it would be acceptable to order a muffin... which brought my total to $5 something or another... could have ordered the latte after all... oh well...

2. I head to the cleaners to pick up clothes... $45 later, I am all set for pants for the week... for my husband... only... BUT they do SUCH a good job... AND they are just down the street! AND I tried one of those $2.99 cleaners once when I was trying to cool the spending... dealing with lost items and the fear I had while trying to pick up the lost items was just not worth it... AND they did not offer same day service...

3. I go to the library thinking I would check out some fun chick lit for the week... decided I would get all the books in a certain series... I had read the first one, but they only had number 3 in the series...

What do you think I did, fans? Do you think I put down numero tres in les series and helped myself to one of the other BAZILLION books in the library? NO! Of course not. I checked out #3 and headed to BAM to buy #2...and another book that looked cute... What can I say? Undercover Blogger wants what she wants...

4. I've had a long and busy day, and I just want to read #2 tomorrow. I decide to go to the grocery store so I can veg ALL day on Sunday... I purchase only enough items for my lunches, breakfasts, snacks, and ONE dinner for me and Darling Husband... the results were disappointing. I barely had ANY groceries... but somehow I spent $80.86. How?

So how do you people do it? HOW do you budget? How do you STICK to your budgets?

Please email me with helpful tips. Shopping at Wal-Mart and clipping coupons are not welcome suggestions. I know that sounds bad, but it's true. Wal-Mart is so far away, and coupons only apply to canned items and baby things.

These are my normal meals:

Breakfast: 1/4 cup of bluberries/1 container of yogurt/one slice of toast
Lunch: Lean cuisine/Kashi meal/Smartones meal (depending on what is on sale)
Snack: 1 bunch of grapes/Publix String cheese
Dinner: Boar's Head turkey or ham sandwich (common people deli meat upsets my delicate digestive system) /carrots/celery/cookieS/or a meal cooked with sale items from Publix/OR we eat out, but never anywhere that special.

I only buy the cheapest bottled water, I usually wait until I get to work to have coffee (this is not for cheap person reasons, I simply do not have time to make coffee for myself in the morning), I only buy like ONE bottle of wine per week and maybe a case of MGD 64 for my sweetie -he's trying to lose weight... we don't usually allow chips or crackers in our home...

I DOOOOOOO have to keep nice juices on hand for the hubs... and I will NOT buy juice with added sugar... so that adds up a little I guess... but who needs the extra calories?!?!

SO HELP? What do I do? Where am I going wrong? I plan my meals, I shop the circulars... I NEEDED those books... and I LIKE sitting outside at Starbucks...

Help me, fans... get me through a Saturday without decimating our checking account!

Anxiously awaiting your help,
Undercover Blogger

WHY?

I don't go to lunch. Maybe once a month with a coworker or every 3-5 months with a friend. First of all, I don't like cold or hot weather, so winter lunches and summer lunches are COMPLETELY out of the question unless you come to one of the restaurants in my building...

ALSO, I don't like having to lose my precious shaded parking spot (I have to arrive approximately 30 minutes early to get that spot).

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, I am a creature of habit... once I got in the routine of never going to lunch, it made me feel "off" when I did go to lunch, so now it's been two and a half years and I'm the girl who doesn't go to lunch. I'm probably skinnier because of it, but less cool too...

So when a complete stranger (I guess not a STRANGER exactly, but I've never met this woman in my life... I've only talked to her about problems I have with her invoices... and even that I've probably only done twice) calls and asks me to lunch, I get all weirded out. First of all, I tend to avoid meeting new people because I usually don't like them. Second, I think she just wants something... new business or something, not that I have any say in that...

I was good and avoided her call for a week... but I didn't feel like I could push it much further... so I called her back. Luckily, her office closes at noon on Friday. My normal reaction would be total jealousy, but I only felt a great source of relief knowing I had put it off for another day. WHEW! THEN Monday came and she didn't return my call. CHA-CHING! Then... Tuesday came... 8:06... she calls... DARN IT MY STUPID LUCK.

We're going to lunch on Thursday... in my building (thank goodness)...

One problem... I HAVE NEVER SEEN THE WOMAN! How will I know who she is? I think she's old...

SO... what is an Undercover Blogger to do? Should I stand by the door and wait for an old woman to walk in by herself? Do I call and ask her to carry a single red rose? Hold a sign like they do at the airport with her name on it?

Why do I have to go? WHY?

-Undercover Blogger

Mini Renovation

Last week I decided to get a little CRAZY and do a 3rd of July HIDEOUS bathroom MAKEOVER...

Let me fill you in...

We moved into our home about a year and a few months ago... everything had been somewhat updated throughout the house... everything but our HIDEOUS bathroom...

I read a magazine article that explained you could make any bathroom livable... even one designed in the 60s... I thought "RRRIIIIGHT... any bathroom but mine..." I tossed it aside and didn't think much about it until the other day... the day that I decided a crowbar might make it livable... SO Darling Husband and I got to work (this is where his work ended though... he does not enjoy projects... unless they involve fish/deer/game).

Would you like to see? OF COURSE you would...

Here are some BEFORE shots...

Can I get an "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW?"

I went to work the next day with no plan in mind besides disguising the hideousness of this bathroom...A.S.A.P... Luckily, I work at a design firm... and Sweet Designer X helped pull together a plan that I could start AND complete in ONE DAY!!! WOOHOO! QUICKLY after work I drove to Home Depot/Lowe's/Homegoods/Target/T.J. Maxx to pick up all of my supplies...

The next morning I woke up (EARLY), sent DH on his way (fishing or something), and GOT TO WORK! WHOOP!

With a little (okay, quite a bit) of help from L, my mini bathroom reno was complete by the time I was ready for dinner (more of a Euro 9 p.m. dinner, but dinner nonetheless)!

Enjoy the AFTER shots... it might not inspire an OOOOH LALA in you... but hopefully at least a little ooh...

And here she is... my biggest achievement thus far in life... the light fixture L and I installed! Who needs a MAN'S help!??!?! NOT US. We are DIY GENIUSES!!!

Isn't the color combo a MAJOR improvement? If you have to have 1969 mustard tile, white and grey and silver DEFINITELY help disguise it.

Now... Give me a "HEEEEEELLLLLLZ YA!"

-Undercover Blogger

P.S. I am NOT a photog... I wish I could really convey how majorly this little project improved this bathroom...

OOOH and P.S.S..... Thanks L.....

Favorite Things

Hello fans...

I know I promised you a least favorite things list, but I got to thinking...and... well, those least favorite things are probably some of your favorite things, and I feel just TERRIBLE about making you guys feel any worse about your lowly existence than you already do, so here are a few of my favorite things to inspire you to be more like me...

1. I LOATHE cream cheese in all things sweet. I LOVE anything with smoked salmon, cream cheese, and dill. DiVIne. MMM.

2. BUBBLE TOWN. aol.com --> games--> Bubble Town... I now need Bradford Rehabilitation for this HIGHLY addictive game...

3. Not wearing eyeliner... I look so natural. Next thing you know I'll be using that patchouli scented shampoo again...

4. O Kafes Coffee- fair trade, environmentally friendly, AND in my building... it's amazing how a $5 cappuccino can lift your spirits.

5. My new white curtains... my home feels very ethereal now... well, as ethereal as "dark" and "dungeon like" can feel...

6. Grey- The color is ALL they are talking about for fall. AND I love my new grey vanity (more to come on that later). And my painted grey tables... and frames... and clothes... it gives my skin a sallow appearance that keeps people away from me for fear they might come down with something.

7. Ice Cubes gum... it's just SO cute!

8. Condos...can you imagine the luxury of ENJOYING your home? No plants to water (or let die)... no yards to mow (or hire someone to mow)... less space to clean... no scary basement... less closets to check for murderers... PURE LUXURY...

9. Bright colors- I enjoy looking at anything orange, green, or yellow. Here are a couple of things in my house that are brightly colored. P.S... That little plant is in my entry area because the rest of my CAVE is too dark to give it the light it needs to produce chlorophyll/attempt photosynthesis.

10. Lady Gaga. Have I said this before? I can't recall. Mostly I love her for the same reasons I enjoy attachment parenting, Hare Krishna, and the FLDS. I love all things WEIRD.

SOOOOO there you go... some FAVES...

Check back later for the post about my mini bathroom reno!

-Undercover Blogger